unsubscribes, ‘shroomers, and the Buckingham Palace of golf resorts

an email by the world’s least renowned expert in golf

I am the world’s least renowned expert in golf 🙋🏻‍♀️

You already know I don’t know how to ski. So it will come as no surprise when I tell you that I also don’t know how to golf.  

This is a problem because my boyfriend (Tormund Giantsbane, remember) is a very big deal in the insurance industry. And Big Deal Insurance People - we’ll call them B-DIPs, k? - are mostly old white guys who were practically born with a 9-iron in their hands. My guy is a foxy age forty, but I’m certain he came out of the womb in a Titleist cap and a single Taylormade glove.

So get this. 

The B-DIPs are all invited to this very fancy golfing place where they’re going to shake hands with Tiger Woods and, I dunno, do whatever golf people do—make $500M deals over 72yo single malt Macallan whisky, I presume. 

I called K-Oh, my bestie. 

“They’re going to this fancy place in California, Pablo Beach or something. And they get to bring their wives!” (B-DIPs aren’t allowed to be gay, duh.)

“Pebble Beach!” She says.

“Yes, that’s it! Let’s look it up,” I say, flipping open her laptop. Sure enough, it is the Buckingham Palace of golf resorts, acres of expansive, immaculately manicured green grass right on the ocean. I click the hamburger menu to browse the site. There’s a tab that says “U.S. Women’s Open.” 

“It looks like they have golf competitions there!” I yell at K-Oh from across the hall. 

“I’m pretty sure they’re not called ‘golf competitions,’” she calls back, and we both explode in gales of laughter. “When people talk about golf you should probably just not talk,” she says. 

Like I said: World’s Least Renowned Expert in golf.🏌🏻‍♀️

I don’t know if Pebble Beach even lets you in if you have a side shave and your name is Tarzan and you don’t know the difference between a gap wedge and a sand wedge (I had to Google “types of golf clubs” just to write that sentence.) I hope I get the chance to find out. 😬 

Belonging is one of our deepest needs as humans, IMHO. I may never know how to belong at a place like Pebble Beach, but I know that I belong here in your inbox today.

One of the best things about growing and nurturing an email list is that you get to be at the center of a group of subscribers in which you are a perfect fit. 

That takes time. 

It might feel awkward at first, showing up in this way and presuming subscribers care what you have to say. But if they consented to join your email list, they most likely do. If not, they can always unsubscribe, in which case you shouldn’t be offended. Sometimes people just need a break or aren't vibing with you, which is okay! Others will find you and jump on board. 

It might seem like this style of email marketing is a personal brand thing, but it applies to all sorts of businesses. 

Years ago I wrote emails for the mushroom coffee brand Four Sigmatic. We made sure their emails were human-sounding, with a “from name” that was an actual person’s name—either Tero (the founder) or Markus (CMO at the time). It looked something like this: Tero | Four Sigmatic.

Together we wrote emails that were friendly, playful, and full of mushroom jokes. They matched the personality of the company. 

The Four Sigmatic brand is more than just a brand, it’s a community of coffee-drinking, mushroom-loving people who can handle the occasional joke about ‘shrooms. 

That’s what you should aim to do with your email marketing: bring people together around shared ideas and values. It won’t always be a perfect match. As you refine your message and marketing, some people will turn away and others will lean in closer. 

Just don’t turn them away if they happen to be wearing a single white glove and a Titleist cap. Subscribers come in all stripes and colors. 

Hopefully, visitors to Pebble Beach do too 🤞

Tarzan